Comments - Everything that turned out well in my life followed the same design process

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I love how you described the patient process of unfolding the right life—instead of a top-down, highly architected plan for life that often falls apart when it meets reality. The same thing has happened for me in trying to find the friendships that are most activating and exciting, and the work that’s most fulfilling to me. Generally speaking, being very attentive to the day-to-day and the tiny steps available in it (exploring one tiny new thing or experience, for example) has been much more useful for me. I’m learning a little bit about myself and the world, and I have the space to iterate. This insight you shared feels especially true: “The context is smarter than you. It holds more nuance and information than you can fit in your head. Collaborate with it.” It takes trust. The steps look so small. You don't know where they go. Hey Celine, I'm interested to hear more about how this played out in your life with respect to friendships if you're willing to share! I'm happy to share (and

I'm happy to share (and so sorry for the delayed reply!) I've slowly realized that I had 2 incorrect assumptions about how to make friends, and which friends to make. The first assumption is that my "type" of friend would have certain interests, preoccupations, personality traits, lifestyle. In my late teens/early 20s I had a relatively fixed idea of who I was (personality, interests, goals, &c) and made friends who seemed to match that. But many of my closest friends now are wildly, wildly different from that—and I've also changed so much over the last 5–10 years. I ultimately believe that…

Comments - Everything that turned out well in my life followed the same design process

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